Yep, that's me. Or I suppose I should say, was. A woman feeling much like a child, at the end of her marriage, hiding behind fake laughs and bright hair just hoping no one would see the true pain in her eyes. It was a horrible time filled with many questions and doubts. But something amazing happened...I began to climb the ladder back up. The pain staking process of trying to start back over and somehow find happiness in a world that was falling apart was anything but easy but somehow, with the grace of God, I managed to make it where I am today.
For the first time in two months, I am able to sit back and enjoy the night without having to worry about what time the baby is going to wake me up for her nightly feedings. I don't have to keep the music down to a certain level (or the T.V. for that matter), and I'm able to just...breathe. I LOVE my daughter but as any mother knows, breaks are greatly appreciated. So to be able to finally relax; Let's just say it feels amazing. But it is giving me time to think back on how it was after Alex was born. It was one of the most stressful times in my life but still one of the most joyous and I thank God everyday for everything I've ever gone through. Still to see that picture of me with the bright red hair hurts. I realize there is still so much that I simply have tried to push to the side and haven't brought up or completely gotten over what happened. And that my friends is a problem. In due time, everything that went on during my marriage will be resolved but it will never be forgotten. It's important to look back and see what you've gone through in order to grow and mature. And I do believe, weekends like this where you get to spend time with family and friends and RELAX is just the thing everyone needs to get past whatever it is that they are facing.
So I'm DEMANDING that you take it easy this weekend :) Just tell 'em I said so!
Love you all
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